Shared Parenting Europe — Every child has the right to both parents

A child doesn’t have to choose.

Thousands of children in Europe lose contact with a parent after divorce. This can happen when one parent is unfairly allegated, when children are formally questioned in formal custody procedures that effectively forces them to choose between parents or when the parents themselves force their children to choose.

Children in situations like these are highly influenced. They may feel forced to “choose” one parent, while in reality they should be given the chance to build a relationship with both. Not a single child deserves to be in a position like this, backed by research.

The pillars of our case

We are initiating a strategic legal case to the European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg.

Children shouldn’t have to choose

We want to end the process of formally hearing children in custody disputes in a way that asks them to pick a side. A pediatrician should always be present in a situation like this. Children deserve to be protected from a burden like this — it harms them and affects the outcome of proceedings.

Lost time has to be restored

A parent who loses contact with their child because of unfair allegations should be entitled to have that lost parenting time restored. This law is already active in the US state of Texas. It discourages false allegations and protects the child’s bond with both parents.

An ethical code for family lawyers

It’s sad, but in society, it happens too often that lawyers tear families apart for financial gain. In the end, society pays the bill. Every lawyer should be operating under an ethical code to protect families.

There lies power in prevention

The power to protect children lies in preventing them from harmful divorce situations. We want to prevent the unnecessary costs and the loss of talent caused by situations like this.

These harmful situations cause lots of talent to be lost. They damage the potential of both the child's passion and education.

These children seriously need therapy and psychological care that’s partly financed by the government, which can be prevented. It also causes long waiting lists for psychological care.

At last, these situations cause trauma that cycles through generations and endanger the talent of the next generation.

"Our mission is to prevent these outcomes instead of dealing with them once it's too late. We want children to thrive and live up to their potential."

What the research says

15–20%

of Dutch children lose all contact with their non-resident parent after divorce⁶

13.4%

of surveyed US parents report being alienated from one or more of their children — an estimated 22 million adults⁷

1 in 10

children of divorce face serious loyalty conflicts, estrangement or alienation⁶

Children are suggestible in legal settings. Decades of research on child witnesses shows that children — especially young children — are highly sensitive to suggestion and to the expectations of the adults questioning them.¹ When a child is formally heard in a custody dispute, the answer may reflect loyalty, pressure or fear rather than the child's true attachment. This is why we argue that children should not be placed in a position where they effectively choose between their parents.

Turning a child against a parent harms the child. Researchers describe parental alienating behaviours — one parent systematically undermining the child's relationship with the other — as a form of family violence with serious consequences for children's wellbeing, including anxiety, depression and damaged self-esteem that can persist into adulthood.² While scholars continue to debate terminology and diagnosis,³ there is broad agreement on the core point: a child's unjustified loss of a loving parent is harmful.

Children do better with both parents in their lives. A review of 60 studies found that children in shared physical custody had better outcomes than children in sole custody arrangements — independent of family income and parental conflict.⁴ A consensus report endorsed by 110 researchers reached similar conclusions for young children.⁵

Who we are?

Shared Parenting Europe is an initiative of Stichting Euregional Innovation Center Vitality, a Dutch non-profit foundation by people who see the harm that’s dealt and who suffered in the same conditions working to strengthen the rights of children and parents during and after separation.

Taking a case from the national courts all the way to Strasbourg takes years of work and significant legal costs. That is why the initiative is financed through public crowdfunding: every donation goes directly towards the case.

Every child has a voice to be loved and taken care of by both parents!